which of the following is a strong thesis statement
Students usually end up using different terminology than simply “because,” but having a template is always helpful to get the creative juices flowing.
Conversely, the formula for a thesis with only one point might follow this template:
The amount of foul language in movies is disproportionate to the amount of foul language in real life.
A thesis statement is not a statement of fact.
World hunger has many causes and effects.
This is a weak thesis statement because the reader can’t decide whether the paper is about marketing on the Internet or Web pages. To revise the thesis, the relationship between the two ideas needs to become more clear. One way to revise the thesis would be to write:
Discussing a statement of fact is extremely difficult. How will I continue the discussion of something that cannot be disputed? It can easily be proven that George Will did in fact write about equality in the United States, so I don’t really have a strong position because it is simply a fact.
Notice that I have beefed up my vocabulary a bit by changing “really good” to “beneficial.” For help with specific vocabulary, check out the Using Precise Language page.
Compare the original thesis (not specific and clear enough) with the revised version (much more specific and clear):
- Are there two large statements connected loosely by a coordinating conjunction (i.e. “and,” “but,” “or,” “for,” “nor,” “so,” “yet”)?
- Would a subordinating conjunction help (i.e. “through,” “although,” “because,” “since”) to signal a relationship between the two sentences?
- Or do the two statements imply a fuzzy unfocused thesis?
- If so, settle on one single focus and then proceed with further development.