how to phrase a thesis
- Original thesis: Although the timber wolf is a timid and gentle animal, it is being systematically exterminated. [if it’s so timid and gentle — why is it being exterminated?]
- Revised thesis: Although the timber wolf is actually a timid and gentle animal, it is being systematically exterminated because people wrongfully believe it to be a fierce and cold-blooded killer.
Tip: The point you make in the paper should matter:
Here are six more thesis statement examples for you to consider:
Bad: Organ donors should be financially compensated.
– Why? What happens to them that causes you to take this stance?
Good: Given the grueling surgery and lifelong changes they endure, kidney donors should be financially compensated for their act of self-sacrifice.
– There are many forms of living organ donation. As with any good thesis, you want to get as specific as possible. Now, our stance is clear and the reader will understand that we’re about to describe the grueling process of kidney donation as well as any forthcoming lifestyle changes.
Students usually end up using different terminology than simply “because,” but having a template is always helpful to get the creative juices flowing.
Example of weak thesis:
Some Caveats and Some Examples
First, analyze your primary sources. Look for tension, interest, ambiguity, controversy, and/or complication. Does the author contradict himself or herself? Is a point made and later reversed? What are the deeper implications of the author’s argument? Figuring out the why to one or more of these questions, or to related questions, will put you on the path to developing a working thesis. (Without the why, you probably have only come up with an observation—that there are, for instance, many different metaphors in such-and-such a poem—which is not a thesis.)
Franco’s role in the diplomatic relationships between the Allies and the Axis
The relationship between the portrayal of warfare and the epic simile about Simoisius at 4.547-64.
References:
http://examples.yourdictionary.com/thesis-statement-examples.html
http://www.easybib.com/guides/how-to-write-a-strong-thesis-statement/
http://writingcenter.fas.harvard.edu/pages/developing-thesis
http://writing.wisc.edu/handbook/process/thesis/
http://www.cws.illinois.edu/workshop/writers/tips/thesis/